Rambles #12: Feeling Understood
It’s been a long time since of done a "rambles". Guess maybe because I’ve had a satisfying amount of work or I’m just getting better at not ranting my feelings to the open air. Maybe it’s cheesy, but I felt like acknowledging this during this particular point in time. The animation industry, or rather community, means so much to me. A sense of community is always important wherever you go but I wanted to take a moment and appreciate it. It feels like I’ve taken it for granted up until graduating college. I think just about every artist can relate to the feelings we get when we try to explain our crafts/professions to people outside of the art world. Even more specifically, people with more traditional or “normal” careers. It can be exhausting trying to explain what we do to people that, more often than not, will never understand. Sometimes for me, I find myself almost getting defensive in some situations where I feel like I need people to get it so that they will respect what I do for a living just the same as any other professional. But back to the topic at hand. Regardless of what anyone else thinks, (and it does not matter what they think) there is a very strong community in all subjects of the art world. “Art” is very broad so I’m only going to speak for the animation community here. At SCAD I was immersed in it. It was a huge relief to never feel like I had to explain to anyone what I was doing or why I was doing it. When it came to plans for post-graduation, people would always just nod and truly get it. After leaving SCAD, I fell back into what felt almost like the “regular” world. Back to the world I was in during high school, where I would tell people what I’m trying to pursue and people would often give a response of “oh,” or imply the whole, “well you’re not going to be able to make a living doing that,” or even worse, “better marry rich.” I’m seen as lazy or a lost cause unless I choose to settle for a more traditional job. *For life* There is absolutely nothing wrong with working odd-jobs temporarily or permanently or finding your way by taking on those kinds of jobs in the end. But for me personally, as someone who has been training and learning for years to pursue this particular passion, I can’t say that giving up is an option I’ve given myself. But being here without that sense of community is kind of bumming me out. Not to sound melodramatic, but I’ll say it, I do feel misunderstood a lot of the time. I’m exhausted all the time trying to get work done, apply to jobs, take class, and trying to stay positive (which sadly takes a lot of effort these days). It feels like there are never enough hours in the day and as a result I often end up sacrificing sleeping and eating. I’m not currently working a part-time job, which I’m grateful for having the ability to do (for now). But as a result I feel that reads as lazy because no one can see what I’m doing or quite understand why I’m sitting at the computer for hours on end every single day. But for all my animation friends and anyone in the community, they get it. And without any explanation at all. We all understand each other and therefore are able to give each other true words of encouragement and lift each other up. We give each other the right kind of advice and share what we learn. We all feel less alone in this way. Of course, I found the community again through Animation Mentor. The online network like this tiny window where I can still see the support. The people who get it. The people who I feel comfortable with even though we’re complete strangers living on different sides of the world. I am incredibly grateful for having this little window during this harsh time of insecurity and uncertainty. Through this community I can feel safe. I can feel hopeful again. We can all feel understood.
