Still so much to be done
I've had a lot going on this past week and I feel bad for not having updated in awhile. I'm about 3/4 of the way through my second blocking pass. Then I'll decide if I wan to spline or start blocking on 1's and then spline.
Additionally, I've been meaning to start watching some Z-Brush tutorials but haven't gotten around to it. I feel like once the week starts up again, I can better prepare and feel on track again. I hate making this excuse, but I've been practicing not getting upset with myself when I fall behind. I tell myself enough to get started (like not be too easy on myself) but I don't tear myself apart over it anymore because that just ends up being counter intuitive.
I got my new Galaxy Tablet last week and I've been absolutely in love with it. I've been enjoying drawing digitally. I didn't realize how much I missed it and it works great on the tablet. I love having the ability to draw directly on the surface. It's not Photoshop, but it does everything I need it to. And the feel is amazing. It really is making me draw more.
As far as my progress goes, I still feel like there's so much to do. I'm glad I'm doing something as I'm constantly saying. But I know it's not enough. And I could absolutely be far more productive.
Aside from working to practice animation and do tutorials, I've been trying to think more about what I want to do for my thesis film. That's going to come before I know it. I need to have a plan in the next year. I'm telling myself now that I should begin work on it with other people by the beginning of next summer. So really not a lot of time.
I came up with some ideas for my Action Analysis final that I thought I could maybe develop into my thesis. I haven't really taken them anywhere, but I'm starting to go back to them.
It's tough knowing that I can do absolutely anything. I feel like I want to make a comedy because I love making people laugh. It's seriously the greatest feeling in the world to me when I can get a whole audience to laugh. (and without even showing my face or using my voice).
But then other times I feel like I want to make something dramatic and emotionally deep. Or something psychological and chilling.
Regardless, what I want in the end is to make an audience feel something. I want it to be powerful and memorable. I thought about doing something to make people cry, but I think I'd prefer something more satisfying. Something that's kind of tear-worthy, but in the happy way. A heart-warming way.
The best example I can think of this is the animated short film, The Present by Jacob Frey. It's cute and sweet. It's not sad, but you get the feels big time.
I think that's the kind of feeling I want to deliver.
But of course I don't have to. (I mean the idea i'm trying to conceptualize a little more now isn't exactly that). I'm going to go with the idea I feel best with. The frustrating part is when you want so badly to tell a good story because you know that's what everyone else cares about and that's what you care about. BUT as an animator, what actually matters is if it looks well animated. It's a reel piece. And you're not putting the entire film on your reel.
Sometimes this needs to take priority and the animation needs to look good even if the story is lacking. In a perfect world, I'd have it all. But all I can really do is just the best that I can even if it's not what I deem as perfect.
It's scary. It's really scary. I'm overwhelmed with the thought of enlisting people to work on it and hoping that it turns out the way I envision. It's hard to imagine myself at that place in time. Because at this moment, I feel so unconfident and uncertain. I can only put trust in that my school where get me to the place I need to be mentally and in skill.
Right now all I can really do is work on coming up with an idea. Brainstorm and design. I've started a Pinterest Board for my one film idea. Designspiration is also really helpful.
And now I'm just trying to sketch up some character designs with the aesthetic I'm going for. Just trying to keep calm as usual.
