Gesture Drawings

Coming back from Action Analysis I class, I actually was in a pretty good mood. I'm astounded at what a turnaround I've had in my feelings towards drawing since coming to this school. I don't know if it's the school, the timing, or just my mentality shifting. But since my first drawing class this school year, I've come to like drawing again. I still don't love it like I used to, but I don't absolutely hate it like I came to my freshman year of college.

I know that I need to draw far more than I do. And I should certainly start making a habit of it. It was so effortless for me in high school as I didn't think about it. I just did it every day because I loved it. But then something changed and I began to hate it after I graduated. Perhaps it was discouragement or the depression or a little bit of both. But either way I had fallen out of love with it and that was absolutely heartbreaking. I had felt like I had lost a part of myself. For one thing, I that time I didn't know how to do any other sort of animation other than with pen in hand. I started to lose faith in my goals and my dreams to become an animator. I felt like if I couldn't draw or if I didn't want to draw, then I would never succeed. I learn more and more that it isn't the case. And although drawing can help tremendously, creating something that looks pretty is not equivalent to being good at animating. Rather, making the motion itself is what should be pretty.

I feel like perhaps a bit of maturity has also helped me move past this slump. Even though I went into college mentally preparing myself to know that I was a little fish and that my talents in high school weren't going to be all that, it was like I hadn't truly accepted it. So the actual realization that my skills weren't as good as I thought they were was frustrating. I'd gotten to the point a long while ago now where I truly understood and accepted that my drawing abilities are far from extraordinary. And today, especially being at art school, I would consider my drawing level to be extremely average. It's apparent that I can hold a pencil like everyone else here, however, there is nothing too "special" about my drawings. They don't stand out and they aren't memorable. I don't mean to sound negative here, but I'm being honest with myself. The difference is, I'm not beating myself up for it. Rather, I feel more like trying to improve my skills. I've stopped comparing myself to others and started getting inspired instead. Seeing what works and what doesn't. These drawings here have been done throughout the past 3 weeks. I can already see great improvement from my earlier drawings to my later. I recognize that I still have a ways to go, but I know I'll come out of this better than I have ever been.

There's still stiffness in my figures. So fluidity might be my main goal aside from proportion, which is always a challenge.